i dont know what i am feeling right now i feel like crying all night i miss everybody i miss the reason why i am still living in this world but right now my mind is blank .. i cant even remember the reason of living .. i cant my heart is throbbing like i dont know what to like i dont know what i am feeling like it's pleading me to let it die like it longs for the blood to flow out of my veins .. it hurts so much and i dont have someone or something that i can throw this ache out i feel like crying until i cry my blood i feel like dying right now this second this minute this hour but all of you know i cant do that i only know how to hurt myself but i cant do it myself i cant let myself die i cant do it i dont know the culprit of this feelings of mine i cant figure out what it is but right now i feel deep sadness i feel the pain that is covering my heart like im haveng a heart attack i cant almost feel the lively place around me so many problems so much tears that flowed out so many problems to face so many facts to accept so many hardships, sadness, sorrowfulness, loneliness to suffer how i wish i was a bird or some kind of things that are free that are numb sometimes i feel that i should inject a kilo of anaesthetic inside my body right through my heart i dont know this kind of pain is this loneliness or what?? i can feel the pain the anger the sadness the aching of thisss i cant seem to explain how exactly it hurts but i know i cant handle this i eed something i need something i need something to handle this for me later later i'll think of that. I love what i love but what if right now i dont know what i love?? i dont even know who i am at this very moment i feel like suffocating trying to escape in my own jail .. my head is spinning round and round as my vision gets blurry al i can think is what happen to my life but i know i wan just imaging these stuffs all of this is not like me either why? why cant i find myself? why!!! this feeling is raging inside me ready to errupt at any time but what can id o to stop feeling like this? i dont even know where my happiness lies these days i felt like an empty bottle nothing. clear unlike me so may emotions trapped inside me. pure unlike me who dont know what emotions im feeling. tightly covered that is like me im tightly covered with these emotions so that i cant escape.. why is it like this?? feel like im in an empty space pretty weird i feel uneasy just thinking about it but i always know that i am in an empty universe that is very alien to me i know that that is why i dont feel that i belong here here in this world i am sorry for being born and growing up in this world
